As a scientist and a virologist of absolutely no repute whatsoever, I have an inordinate tendency to ask questions about science, virology, science fiction and perhaps a few other phases of life in general, in particular physics, outer space, space flight, and any of several other topics that enter my interest field about who we are and why we are here. And how do we get out of it. (I’ve written a couple of novels involving these topics, and their publication seems to be a secret.) As a result of these ruminations, I’ve jotted down a number of highly interesting and vitally important questions for which I have no answer, and I list them here as a service to mankind. Also womankind. Or any other kind. (Personkind?) To wit:
- Why would anyone put a cat in a bag in the first place?
- Since when did a whistle become the standard for cleanliness?
- How does one have another “think”?
- Who really knows how fast crap goes through a goose? Has anyone measured it?
- When did a skunk become the standard for extreme drunkenness? Do skunks drink?
- Who stores bones in a cupboard?
- If something is out of the question, what was the question?
- What does changing your name to “Mud” have to do with being in big trouble?
- Why does the Chief Cook wash only bottles?
- Why are cows holy? Or mackerel?
- Why an “apple” of someone’s eye? Why not a banana? A pomegranate?
- Where did the dog go?
- How did a bat coming out of hell come to be the standard for fast?
- Where did the cows go before they came home?
- In what restaurant are the tables that are being turned?
- Why would anyone want to “bite dust” in the first place?
- Whose thumb was it that stood out when it was sore?
- Why is the kitchen sink always excluded?
- Is there also a short shot?
- Is there also an overdog?
- Where is the door that Katie barred? Who is Katie?
- Why is a bug’s ear so damn cute?
- How long do ‘coons live?
- I’ve never seen a cat wear pajamas.
There must be many others, too, but any one of these might make a suitable topic for a PhD dissertation or the subject of a grant proposal to a granting agency for long-term study. Let me know if you come up with any reasonable answer, and I’ll post it here.