Okay, now. We’ve been told in recent months, if not in recent years, that we’re supposed to state our pronouns. We’re supposed to tell everyone, and that includes everyone, what pronouns we want people to use when they aren’t using the very specific proper noun that includes our name, i.e., our given name and family name and any middle names we like to use. Like, do we use he/him/his, or she/her/hers, or what? Or are we in the middle of making a change? Do we want they/their/ theirs, or shall we use a new-fangled pronoun, something like hix, or hiz, or something that isn’t his and isn’t hers or theirs. I wish you good luck with that. That kind of change may be difficult to bring about.
Personally, I’m not terribly opposed to people announcing their pronouns. I haven’t given much thought to what pronouns I want others to use. If anyone asks (and no one has yet) I just say, “Use your imagination. What do you think I use?” It shouldn’t be difficult to figure out. And I suspect most people feel the same way. There hasn’t been a wholesale rush to announce pronouns, at least that I’ve seen.
But there are people for whom a reference by pronoun (as opposed to being called by proper name) is a difficult choice. People who don’t identify by either of the two classical genders of male or female. As I write this, I can’t say that I personally know any such people, at least I’m not aware of any such trans-gender humans in my life, and I’ve never been asked by anyone to use non-standard pronouns when referring to them. But (and I just made this decision, right here, right now) I certainly would if asked. I am not binary, nor am I trans. Who am I to criticize someone who makes such a choice? I live my life, and they live theirs, and my opinion is strictly mine alone. I will state for the record that the use of they/their/theirs can be confusing because those pronouns are generally used for referring to plural situations. More than one person. And for someone to use those pronouns, even if they feel the presence of more than one person within one body, can be confusing. To say “they” when one individual is indicated, can result in a “now wait a minute, who are they referring to” moment. Still, I suppose we will get over it. Change is hard, and unconventional pronouns don’t make it any easier.
But what may be harder is re-evaluating the concept of a person. A person, to my way of thinking, is one individual. One body that occupies only one space at a time. One seat at a theater. One seat at school. One vote at election time. One pair of pants (should they choose to wear pants). And so on, regardless of how many souls or how many selfs could be considered as occupying one body. And that is the most important point I’m trying to make with this rather disjointed composition. I hope we never lose sight of the fact that a person is one, singular, individual, separate. A person by themselves, unique and special, without peer and without equal. There’s no one else like him/her/he/she/we/us/you/they/them, etc., etc. Each person is who they are, whether you like it or not. Let us hope that this definition of person never goes out of style—and let us work hard to make it so—regardless of what pronoun is used in reference to that person.